LOVE IS A MIXTAPE: THE HALLOWEEN EDITION (STARRING ME AS RYAN GOSLING)

Hey Girl.

Guess who I decided to dress up as for Halloween? Uh-huh. This guy.

So, yeah — that’s me on the right. I went to a friend’s Halloween party on Saturday, and half the folks there “got” my costume right away, half didn’t (“are you James Dean? Or…Justin Timberlake?”) and a small handful of people didn’t recognize me at all BECAUSE I LEGITIMATELY LOOKED LIKE A DUDE.

Historically, I’ve always been “just OK” at Halloween costumes, especially compared to my mom, who is going as — wait for it — Nicki Minaj this year. (No word yet on whether my dad has agreed to be Mariah.) But actually, this isn’t the first time I’ve dressed up as a guy: I’ve also been Rodney Dangerfield, as well as K-Fed during the height of his illustrious Britney Spears/rap career phase.

However, I’m realizing that on both of those occasions I still wore makeup, i.e. my normal girl makeup. This time was different. This time, I totally bro’d out y’all.

And I’m not gonna lie — it’s kind of fun, slash liberating, to be a guy for a night. Especially a Notebook-starring, fist-fight-breaking, currently-filming-in-Austin guy like Ryan Gosling.  (And, many thanks to Lauren at Hipstercrite for inspiring him in the first place.)

Here are some more pictures of my creative, clever friends from Saturday night’s party.

Guy Fieri!

Just two dudes chillin’: My (pregnant) friend Rendi, and me — once again — as Ryan Gosling

Top those looks! Are you dressing up as anything tonight?

And now, onto our regular scheduled programming: A delightful, Halloween-themed mix and story from Amy! Enjoy.

***

Hi friends!

The weather’s changing, Goodwills and vintage stores are totally picked over, and sidewalks are lined ‘round the block with Lucy In Disguise hopefuls. Must be my favorite time of year – HALLOWEEN.

Now, you might think that someone who has forever sworn off scary movies and “house of terror” type excursions might not be the world’s greatest candidate for all things Hallows Eve. But consider this: I (Amy) literally trick-or-treated until I was the ripe – and frankly too old – age of 13, not because I have an insatiable sweet tooth, but because I genuinely adore this time of year. But for Halloween 2012, I’ve been a little more lax than usual: No carved pumpkins to greet my guests. No bats made from toilet paper rolls. No paper towel ghosts. Have I become a Halloween scrooge?

I feared so. That is, until last week.

It was my best friend’s birthday, and she had serious plans for the evening. Explicit that we would be snacking on Reese’s, drinking red wine and watching the greatest Halloween movie of all time (Hocus Pocus, obviously – Buzzfeed can back me up on this). Now, maybe it was the 90s nostalgia, what with Bette Midler and a pre-Sex and the City-ed Sarah Jessica Parker, or maybe it was a trippy chocolate-induced sugar high – but it the night brought back my favorite Halloween memory of all time:

I couldn’t have been more than four or five at the time. It was Halloween, and my sister and I donned matching angle outfits complete with special crowns and wands. The school day dragged on, but we were super pumped to discover that we were let out early that day! Clearly , our school had the right idea about trick or treating. Best to start early.

The whole way home – through horribly stormy weather – visions of fun-sized Snickers, Twix bars and Twizzlers danced in our heads. We just could not even fathom the heaving haul of candy we would fetch by starting at this wickedly early hour. Our mother sat quietly in the front seat, eavesdropping on our candy plotting, but when we got home … she had to break the news to us. It was sleeting. Freezing. Trick-or-treating was completely out of the picture.

As you can imagine, we did not take the news well.

A few minutes later – through our pitiful sobs – we heard a knock on our bedroom door.

“Kids?” my dad said.

We nudged open the door, and found him standing there with two expectant, empty candy pales. He pointed down our long hallway to the laundry room door, with a sign that read “BEWARE…gobblin X-ing”.

“Why don’t you go knock?” he suggested.

Timidly, we did so, not knowing who or what would be waiting for us on the other side. A shaky, raspy voice greeted us…and when the door swung open, there stood a green-faced, claw-fingered witch. Right there in our laundry room!

Creepy music hung in the air, and this “witch” – our mom – beckoned us forth. “Mom! We know it’s you!” we cried. This witch simply stared us down for just a moment – then lunge.

We shrieked aloud. and nearly jumped clear out of our ethereal angel garb.

Instinctively, we knew what to do next: “Trick-or-Treat!” we shouted in unison. Next was the glorious plop of candy hitting the bottom of our buckets. Delighted, we sprinted off to the next door.
This continued through each and every room of our small house, with our mother dressed in a different last-minute, DIY costume each time.

I no longer get to spend Halloween with my mother, but that memory is one I’ll never forget. I only hope that someday when I have children of my own, I can approach the season with this same level of magic.

As for now, I’ll stick to making playlists in celebration. Hopefully you too can find an excuse to enjoy them at your monster mash tonight … mwuah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Halloweenie by Amy Haley on Grooveshark

  • Laura

    I find you oddly attractive as a dude, Tolly, and it’s making me uncomfortable.

  • Kellyn D.

    Seriously, Tolly, you’re a beautiful woman…but also a beautiful man. That’s a great costume! Everyone in the pictures looks pretty magical, too! I love the mix, Amy. But then, you’re the playlist queen!