HELLO, IT’S ME.

Before you say anything at all: yes, I know, that joke is going to feel so old and tired in about one more week. And yet! I cannot resist. Even the non-dads among us can, shamelessly and tirelessly, make dad jokes.

Anyway: I’m here now.

I’m in this place where I’m not writing as often, here, on my beloved blog.

Instead, my creative energies are dispersed in other places, but it’s not a 1-for-1 substitution – not really. Rather, like my friend Omar asked this week, the collective question seems to be: are we still doing this? Blogging?

I’m scared of self-branding, always have been, so I admit that it’s been freeing to walk away. Like, take that, BLOG! I am rebelling! Next thing you know, I might skip Tweeting for a week. Or delete Instagram from my phone. Who knows! I’m living on the fucking edge.

But I confess, Reader: I miss this.

Not “blogging,” per se. Writing. Writing for moi.

Is there a difference? Maybe. At some point, blogs became precursors to businesses, and you know what? That was great. Blogs helped a lot of us find jobs, and I am no exception. So thank you, blogging, and even a sheepish thanks to you, branding, you wiley mistress.

Sometimes, when I’m in the mood for long form, I dip back into the well of my favorite online writers: Sarah Hepola, Ruth Pennebaker, Omar, Mary Miller. Weirdly, I know all of these people, so reading them gives me inspiration, not to mention a little voyeuristic thrill. It’s like, you thought those things, friend? You shooed everyone away, closed the door, and thought up those beautiful things?

Writing is such an intensely private act, that reading someone else’s work always feels conspiratorial. Most of the time, anyway. I remember hearing a Real Housewife of New York shriek about a fashion book she wrote “all on my Blackberry!” and it must have pained me enough to sear its own memory. Not that I or any of you should be taking writing advice from the Real Housewives, I’m just saying that it made the whole writing enterprise feel so cheap in the moment that it generated feelings, real feelings that I should probably let go of now. (Though I’d watch my back if I were you, Kelly Bensimon!)

Dance is utterly different, because it has to happen in front of others, unless you are Billy Idol, or perhaps Robyn. Let’s just make it easy and say the rule is, if you have a bleach blonde bouffant, you don’t have to dance in front of other people if you don’t want to. As for the rest of us: we get an audience, whether we like it or not.

That vulnerability – will they mess up? Will their bodies fail them? Will freak injury occur here in front of me? – gives the whole experience a specific frisson that you don’t quite get from writing, and that’s why I’m attracted to it. Dance, I mean.

We’re still in the lazy afterglow of the holidays right now, so while all of my dance stuff is gradually coming back online, it won’t truly feel full-force until about a week and a half from now. Next week, here, I start teaching a splits class, and the week after that, silks is a lot more game-on. Modern, ballet, and jazz (!!) are all in the mix as well, and sometimes I wonder, should I write about those things? Here? I’m inclined to say ‘no,’ that would be boring, because what’s the old saw? ‘Writing about music is like dancing about architecture?’

Maybe I could switch those around and successfully write about dance, while someone else – everyone else, now that I think about it – could dance to music. Did I just blow your mind?

Anyway. Mostly, I wanted to steal this hour (or has it been two?) and check in here, feel what it’s like to write again. Writing, or as Billy would say, writin’, with myself.

  • Lani Rosales

    Please don’t stop. Whenever I read you, it’s like a mini-vacation for me. Please come back. :)

    • http://www.austineavesdropper.com Tolly Moseley

      Oh, thank you Lani!! Maybe I will. :)

  • http://www.sparefoot.com Jodi Bart Holzband

    Loved reading and I miss writing on my blog too! For me, I miss the connection with other people (like you!), the sharing, and also, the identity that my blog gave me.

  • Wendi Aarons

    I’ve posted on my blog TWICE since January 1st. Everything old is new again! (And suck it, Bensimmon.)

    • http://www.austineavesdropper.com Tolly Moseley

      Good job, Wendi!!

  • Belle

    Totally missed you dude! But I admire your intention in art period. Ps, what’s this year’s word? (It’s cool if you’d rather not share though m/)

    • http://www.austineavesdropper.com Tolly Moseley

      You know Belle, my friend Kelly just wrote me on my 2015 New Year’s Word post to share hers, and it TOTALLY inspired me to do the same! Ironically, last year’s word was “listen,” but I feel like I haven’t been listening well enough to figure out what my word for 2016 is supposed to be.

      But I think that was a sign that before the month of January is out, I should post about the New Year’s word – just go ahead and do it, and see what everyone else’s is, too.

      • Belle

        Now I’m excited! I’ve been toying with variations on my own word for last year – it was go, which I did, but now how to develop on that? I think I’m in your boat. More listening indeed.

  • http://genieinablog.com. Leigh Ann

    You know, submissions for Listen to Your Mother are open through January 31, if you feel so inclined to write something. :) :) :)

    I cannot give up my blog. It’s there for me. I’m sure I went through a short period where I wanted to do! all! the branding! But I’m most comfortable with fewer obligations, so posting what I want whenever I want suits me just fine.

  • Brittney Rachelle Brezinski

    “Dance is utterly different, because it has to happen in front of others, unless you are Billy Idol, or perhaps Robyn. Let’s just make it easy and say the rule is, if you have a bleach blonde bouffant, you don’t have to dance in front of other people if you don’t want to. As for the rest of us: we get an audience, whether we like it or not.”

    And this is why you continue to be one of my favorite writers. :) This made me smile so much.

  • Jetté Momant

    I visited your blog last night after thinking to myself “I wonder what Miss Tolly is up to” And what Miss Tolly is up to is writing amazing long form pieces such as this. I don’t know why I ever stopped popping in to get my daily dose of you. You are amazing, My Friend.

  • Shashank Rai

    I came to your blog through your Youtube video about cool things to do in Austin with Matthew Matthew Mcconaughey. You have some awesome recommendations and a very unique style! Like + Subscribe! Keep doing what you’re doing!

  • BreatheEatLive.com

    Gosh, if you think you haven’t written in forever…I think I may take the cake on this subject! It felt really good to post on my blog again. I hope you keep writing no matter if it’s on your blog or for your business! Cheers to 2017, you rebel, you!